Once upon a time there was a Princess. She had a Handsome Husband, beautiful home and nice cars.
There was something else she had, though, from time to time: bruises.
Yes, Handsome Husband had a tendency (not often, just once in an while) to smack the Princess around a bit.
The Princess gave the usual excuses:
"He doesn't mean it."
"He is stressed about losing his job."
"He feels really badly about it afterwards."
Finally, the King (who lived in a Land far away from the Princess) heard about what had been going on with the Princess. He found out that his Princess had been hurt, but she had gone back to the Handsome Husband 3 times after staying for a few days in a shelter for battered princesses.
He sent a Messenger to the Princess with his Royal Decree:
"At some point, if you keep going back, you are no longer a victim. You are an active participant."
What does this have to do with Mary Kay? Glad you asked. :o)
There has been a lot of talk lately about personal responsibility lately in response to the posts on PT. Many of the PT posters are crying about being "victims" - but are they really?
You know the old saying: "Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me"? Getting talked into starting with $3000 in inventory is one thing, but ordering month after month after month and stacking inventory on the shelves is quite different!
I am hard on the PTers that made bad choices month after month after month and then blame MK for their problems. I admit it. It drives me crazy. They still blame MK years after the fact - and never accept their part of the situation.
I am hard on PTers that were dishonest, cheated and lied to their team while in MK and then blame MK for their wrongdoing. I admit it. It drives me crazy. I don't see how someone can blame a company for their dishonesty month after month, year after year.
There are times when I use not-so-gentle language when referring to these people. I admit it. It drives me crazy. I am hoping that some tough love might wake them up!
Mary Kay is a business. Plain and simple.
I have a friend who had a business in California 10 years ago. She made millions a year in revenue. Then, in her 4th year, because of some changes in CA law, the company went under. She filed bankruptcy to the tune of millions of dalloars in debt.
Then she had a choice. She could give up, join (or start) a blog like ABCwidgetssuck.com and whine for years about how she was a victim of the system; or she could suck it up, learn from experience, and rebuild.
She chose Option B.
My goal is not to get PTers to rejoin MK. Far from it. I think they should be far, far away from anything having to do with MK, because they simply are not meant to be in MK. MK is not for everyone.
My goals are the following:
- I want to be the voice of reality that they won't find on PT. PTers will hold your hand and say that nothing was your fault - it is all the evil MK Empire's fault. I will say that you need to own your part of whatever you did, learn from it and move on. ("You can't change what you don't acknowledge." Thus saith Dr. Phil.)
- I want to help provide a balanced view of Mary Kay to those who might be searching online. There is nothing wrong with sharing your experience, but don't blame others for what you did and don't assume that everyone else suffers from your lack of values or judgement.
If you own your part of what you did wrong, then you can grow. You can change. You can heal. You can stop wallowing in the self-pity that accompanies being a victim in your own mind, because you realize that you are the one who controls what happens to you.
In case you haven't figured it out yet, the story at the beginning of this post....is mine.
I am so glad my father did not take a "you poor thing, what a terrible life you have" attitude with me. He helped me see that I was in control of my fate - not the man I was married to. He was tough, and I did not like it! LOL But he made me realize that at some point, you stop being a victim and you start being an enabler. Once you stop being either, you can control your own destiny.