Mary Kay is a bridge

I would like to take a moment to discuss an illustration that was left in the comments section of this blog recently. I find illustrations to be an excellent way to convey to others the way you see certain things.

As such, when I read the following illustration, I had an insight into where our friend ‘deleted’ is coming from and why he is so insistent and determined to tell everyone about the evil he sees. Whether his motive is pure and simply uninformed or devious and Machiavellian is yet to be determined, but we can at least examine the incorrect perspective he has that leads him to post such bizarre and unwarranted warnings.

What follows is his illustration, followed by a response from me that should help explain why his perspective is flawed. I believe that the picture this illustration will paint does such a good job of explaining the nature of the disagreement between the pro-mk’ers and the anti-mk’ers and everyone in between that I will probably use this post as a starting point for people who have just stumbled upon this site.

So, grab something cozy to drink, snuggle up with your laptop and allow us to tell you a tale. A tale about a bridge – and whether or not that bridge exists!



Deleted (a commentator on this blog) said,

Imagine for a moment you’re driving down the road in the country at about 55 or 60 miles an hour. Near a bend in the road you notice some guy along the side of the road jumping up and down, waiving his arms and yelling at you. You can’t make out what he is yelling but he is unusually animated, seems overly excited, and he’s (you surmise) staring at you and your kids. The exasperated exclamation on his face is unmistakable. Your self-talk kicks into gear and you begin to wonder, “Is this guy maybe a mental health patient who has been off his medication”? Before you know anything more, your survival instincts prompt you to prepare to protect yourself from this person who could present an unknown level of danger to you and your family. Your natural survival instincts allow you to strongly consider the likelihood this raving, loud, harsh toned person on the side of the road is a nut you should avoid and, if possible, ignore. He’s obviously upset about something and he looks as though he has a negative attitude. Who has time for negative raving lunatics?

The good news (hopefully) is you’ve slowed down enough to at least stare at the raving nut on the side of the road. And as you round the bend in the road you see the bridge over the ravine is out. You have just enough time to throw your vehicle into a skid before driving off the cliff. I’m the raving nut on the side of the road. I’m trying to warm as many as possible about the danger just ahead.

Perhaps you’ve noticed, I’m not the only raving nut on the side of the road. There are so many of us; we all recently climbed out of the ravine. Our wreckage is strewn over the side of the cliff. The vast majority of us simply go home after crashing but many of us run back to the road and try to warn other drivers.

However interesting it may seem, I’m still astonished at the number of drivers who ignore our ranting and actually speed up when they see the bridge is out. These drivers face forward with both hands on the wheel. White knuckled and with a stark sense of resolute commitment on their face, they drive off the cliff muttering “...if I just beeeelieve in my dreams...” This would be even more astonishing if those of us along the road watching these crashes didn’t remember we too experienced this same delusional phenomena.

Deleted,

I find your illustration to be more accurate than perhaps you intended it to be. You say that any analogy will lose its effectiveness when pushed to an extreme. I say that as long as the analogy has clearly defined elements that correspond accurately with the real life element they are describing than the analogy will stand on its own.

I would like to seize on this opportunity to point out exactly what those of us on this blog have been trying to explain to you about the difference between your point of view regarding Mary Kay and the reality of the “big picture”.

As some people have pointed out, your illustration is flawed. If the bridge in this illustration represents Mary Kay and the cliff is financial ruin then the cliff is a danger to all people that are alive and there are many bridges that offer varying levels of safe or risky passage to financial security. (In fact, many people will elect to cross over multiple bridges in hopes of reaching various ‘higher’ or ‘better’ levels of financial achievement.) On the “safe” end of the spectrum, the bridge may be a 9-5 minimum wage job that, although not glamorous (and certainly not able to create a luxurious lifestyle), is at least a guaranteed way to survive. The “downside” of this bridge is that it may never reach “the other side”; you may spend your entire life “on the bridge”. On the “risky” end of the spectrum, the bridge may be moving to Hollywood to be an actor, or Nashville to be a famous country singer. Without a doubt, starting a business (be it a franchise or a unique entrepreneurial endeavor) is on the “high risk” side of the spectrum. This of course would include Mary Kay.

Now, let’s examine the “lunatic”. In your illustration, the “lunatic” is you. You make the point that the lunatic is justified in his actions by the fact that he is warning people of impending doom. But is doom really unavoidable? Is the bridge really gone? Is the lunatic still a “hero” if he is lying about the state of the bridge?

Now pay attention, because this is where our philosophies diverge. I believe that the Mary Kay “bridge” is not out. It is what could be called a “high risk” bridge that some unscrupulous individuals in Mary Kay represent as being a “safe” bridge in hopes of profiting off the naïveté of their victims. The impending doom of which you speak results from something other than the cause you cite, and is not guaranteed as you would have passing motorists believe. First, the bridge is not in fact “out”. The bridge is still there. However, the bridge warrants an extra level of caution. In fact, I would go so far as to say that the Mary Kay bridge (like other entrepreneurial endeavors) requires that one park the car and start off on foot. The phrase “learn to walk before you run” is a fairly good descriptor here. Interestingly, there are signs on this bridge. Very clearly written instructions that describe the manner in which safe (or at least safer) crossing may be achieved. (These are often spoken of here – InTouch, the Consultant Agreement, etc.) The reason that many are “driving into the ravine” is that they fail to read the instructions. The reason they fail to read the instructions (in some cases) is that they are misled to believe that it is an easy bridge to cross and reading the instructions is unnecessary. “Just trust me” some seem to suggest, “If you only do this, you will be successful.”

It is for this reason, that there even needs to be someone offering a warning.

Let’s put another character out on the road. Me. Or, more accurately, us. With this blog. I am standing on the other side of the road, in the shoulder, almost in the lane of oncoming traffic with both hands in the air signaling motorists to stop so that I can talk to them. I am making eye contact with as many drivers as I can. The ones that pull over to find out what is going on are told, “The bridge ahead has a few risks you should know about.” My presence there would not be necessary if there weren’t people sending these drivers down the road with the impression that crossing the “financial ruin” pit via the Mary Kay bridge guarantees safety or that they can do it at full speed.

So, now we have a very crowded roadway.

There are people telling the motorists, “Go full speed!!! Just Beee- lieeeve!!!” There are those (like you) saying, “Don’t even try. The bridge is out. There is no chance that you will ever make it.” (Some in this category also add things like, “The clothes they make you wear are ridiculous. The prizes are dumb. Why would you want to cross THAT bridge if you have to wear THAT?”.) And then there are those (on this blog and elsewhere) saying, “Hold on a second. We are talking about a business opportunity here. There are risks involved and your best bet is to start small and slow. Don’t quit your day job. Don’t buy thousands of dollars of inventory that you may or may not be able to sell. And for crying out loud, read the instructions and don’t believe everything you are told. But by all means, if you want a shot at creating something that you can be proud of, here is a great way to do it.”

Now the question becomes, “Who is right?”

We can plainly see from the testimonies on Pink Truth (and even some who have come here and told their story) that the “go full speed, just beeeelieeeeve!” folks are wrong – and causing people misery “in fifty forms”. The so called “lunatic(s)” that say no one can make it are proved wrong by the fact that there are so many that are making it. Some of them are on this site. So if some people ARE making it, and some people ARE NOT making it, it seems that the one saying, “some people WILL make it and some WILL NOT make it” is the one that has it right. I wish that everyone who enticed someone to join Mary Kay was straightforward with their description. I wish that no one would lie and say that making money with Mary Kay is as easy as buying lots of product and “believing”. But that will never be the case. Dishonest people will be dishonest whether they are selling cosmetics or train parts or nuclear weapons. No industry, no company, no place on earth is immune from the devastation that dishonest people bring to the table.

This leads me to the question I have for ‘deleted’ and those on Pink Truth is, “Why do YOU choose to be dishonest in your approach of warning people?” Do you not realize people don’t consider you a lunatic because you are warning them, but because your warning is deceitful? You tell them, “The bridge is out”, then they go up to where the bridge is and come back and say, “No, the bridge is still there”. When they (we) try to inform you that you are wrong, that there is a bridge, and that there are people making it to the other side you continue to tell us that WE are the crazy ones. You insist that “there is no bridge” and “the only thing keeping us from realizing that there is no bridge is lack of experience”. We (they) take a look at the bridge, look back at you, back at the bridge, back at you and say something like, “You mean that bridge? That bridge that we are both looking at… is… not there?” You are either delusional and truly believe that there is no bridge or you have some ulterior motive, some hidden agenda that leads you to intentionally deceive people. I genuinely wonder which one is fueling this passionate deception.

Regardless, from this point, there is an internal conflict. On the one hand, we want to walk you over to the bridge. Point out the people that are at various points on the bridge. Show you the instructions that are posted. Ask you where you went off the bridge so that we can adjust the instructions to help those coming behind you avoid making the same mistake you made. On the other hand, every time we try to do this, you make cryptic, sarcastic statements that have nothing to do with the bridge, nothing to do with us and then start screaming at the people approaching the bridge again. At some point, we have to just let you believe that there is no bridge or resign ourselves to allowing you to spread your variety of deceptive manipulation. And, since there are some people that are lying about how perfectly safe and secure the bridge is, and people (like you) that are lying about there being no bridge, we must resume our task of explaining the whole mess to people that are looking at a very crowded road and saying, “What the heck is going on here?”

As long as you come and talk to us, we will try to point out that THERE IS A BRIDGE and try to get you to come see it for yourself. We will keep asking you to tell us where you went wrong, what caused your dilemma, in hopes of helping others not make the same mistake. We will not join you in telling people there is no bridge. We will not join the “JUST BEEEE-LIEEEEEVE” types in sending people into a frightening spiral of racking up debt to earn undeserved recognition either. We will continue to slow people down, point out the instructions and try our best to paint a more realistic picture of what the bridge will be like so that they can choose for themselves whether this opportunity is a match for them or not.

Now some will say, “If the Mary Kay bridge is so risky and fraught with danger, shouldn’t everyone avoid it?” I submit to those of you that feel that way that you should make up your own mind and let everyone else make up their mind about that. Life is exactly what you make of it. If you like the idea of stepping out and taking a risk on something like this, and you have the opportunity, and you really like the products – go for it. You can plainly see that the reward is worth the risk. But take heed. There are many who don’t make it. Be prepared to work hard, pour your blood, sweat and tears into this and come to realize that “it just doesn’t work” for you. But, whether you choose to take the bridge, or choose to look for another bridge that is better suited to your talents and passions, please don’t tell someone else that they will not make it. Don’t lie and say “there is no bridge, you will never make it”. Just find something that does work for you and do that with all your heart. If you truly want to save people from coming to the same fate you came to, join US in telling them the truth. Speak openly and honestly about the specific lies that were told to you, the specific mistakes that you made and so add to the testimony of “dos” and “don’ts” that make up the “big picture” that we are trying to present here.

Ok, enough about this illustration from me. What do all of you think of “the bridge” that Mary Kay represents? Is it safe? Should people avoid it? Should they “face forward with both hands on the wheel, white knuckled and with a stark sense of resolute commitment on their face”, floor it? If you recommend that they proceed, what caution would you offer? What hazards are personally important enough to you that you would like to point them out? Here is YOUR chance to describe how you see Mary Kay! Please don’t be shy!