Thursday, October 15, 2009

Are We Taught To Target Dysfunctional Adults??

I had received a request from one of our readers that I feel is worthy of some discussion, but I just haven't come up with anything that I can be proud to put my name on. When I write it, it comes of as I am being very defensive (as I often do being a sales director and having to always read on that other site that all directors "do this" or all sales directors "do that" and I know what I do and don't do and I know what I have been taught and what I have not been taught and most of what they say is poopoo. This is a great topic and one I would like for readers of the web to have a place to read "the other side" of the article that was titled on that other site:

"Adult Children of Dysfunctional Families: The Perfect Recruiting Pool for the MLM Industry" Written by Raisinberry

Our requester begins: First I want to say thank you for having such an engaging and truly balanced blog for those of us not harboring oddly bitter and seemingly misplaced hatred toward a corporation...(You are welcome!)
I know your blog comments occasionally on the articles "over there", and I don't know if you were planning on commenting on this one but for some reason this particular blame stained article got my goat more so than others and I would LOVE to hear, if you wouldn't mind, your "balanced" take on this one.
Second, (speaking of the devil) I was reading Pink Truth today and they have an article about how MLM's and Mary Kay in particular capitalize on the dysfunctional childhoods of others and how everyone who joins does so because of their dysfunctional childhood and subsequent desire to overcome their own dysfunctions and ignore others'.

I just feel as if this article, this particular subject, of dissecting and projecting, is above and beyond the normal boundaries of blame-ville and I think some other perspective might be interesting, hence my request.
Thank you in advance, if you do decide to post about it, and if not obviously that's fine :) thanks for all that you do post. (Will give it my best)

I wanted to comment on this article the first time I read it and then I actually was totally repulsed that they could write such filth and no one calls them on it. I find it totally offensive in more than one way. And even though it doesn't happen often, I must admit, the disgust of what they try to imply does leave me without much to say but shaking my head in disbelief.

I have never known of anyone in Mary Kay that goes and targets "wounded souls" to capitalize for their own gain. I don't know where some get the ideas that they share but I have never been told to "target" weak woman, abused woman, etc.... nor have I seen or used a questionnaire that ask if a woman came from an alcoholic or abusive family and if she checked yes, then I would work extra hard to recruit her, hogwash...(we all have baggage in our life, how we choose to handle it is up to us)

what I see from an outside point of view is that many who join Mary Kay are looking to fill voids in their lives and receiving recognition (earned or bought) begins to fill those needs. Unfortunately, when the individual starts feeling that she/he cheated to get the recognition, or that they were used or played by another, their self esteem plummets even more and they feel even worse than before. Trying to fill voids in life with Mary Kay isn't going to be anything more than a short term fix, it would be like plugging a leaking boat with a wad of bubble gum, without counseling and total change of behavior, the individual is going to remain, lost and searching. The failing in Mary Kay is just another downer to weight the troubled soul down even more but in many cases MK gives them a scapegoat, something to blame other than themselves and it is always easier to blame someone (something ie:MK) else than to accept the responsibility for your own actions. (I am not saying those that do this are conscious of what they are doing and I AM NOT saying there aren't some directors that abuse or maniupulate consultants, but I do believe, their hate of Mary Kay is just masking the hate of something else. I also feel that many after feeling "wronged" in MK should go to counseling and learn how not to get caught in the trap of their "needing" to be validated by a group. PT is far from that resource. IMHO, pt enables most to continue to wallow in their insecurities and justifies their feelings by complaining with others who are in the same boat. So they all validate one another but no one is is getting any healthier. No support group would encourage people to go over and over and still highly involved with the thing that caused them pain.

I do not see alcholics being told to go sit in a bar for 5 hours, reading the labels on the liquors, pouring drinks, smelling the drinks, etc... to save others from their pitfalls. In order for one to heel, their needs to be distance, acceptance, forgiveness, and then peace. Until the process completes itself, their is unrest. (jk- no different than running on any other treadmill) round, and round, no finish line, no place to get off.

Please everyone help me out her and get some discussion going for our requester as I have not done justice to her comment. I am very emotional and feel deeply about what I would like to express on this whole concept it just isn't translating into the written word and I don't want to keep this member waiting any longer.

One thought I did have before hitting "post" often I think because MK does focus on recogntion and praise perhaps it attracks types needing this reassurance not targets them. - just an after thought~

Please add on and make this a piece that may help many! Thank you


  1. The thing r u supposed to know who is dysfunctional and who is not? So how can u target someone when most times upon meeting them u dont know what type of life they lead. We r taught not to prejudge when it comes to offering this opportunity. Looking for dysfunctional types would cause one to prejudge.
    Dysfunctional means different things to different folks. so this article has a lot of flaws but any time you generalize something, the flaws will overshadow the point you try to make.
    Furthermore, when it comes to sharing the opportunity, we dont "target" anyone. We dont look for certain types of women. We share the opportunity with women no matter what her background or home life is like, we dont even get into that. If she feels she can fit MK into her life, then great, if not then let her know that she can still remain a customer and that is just fine.
    Judging form some of those on PT, most times you dont even know if someone is dysfunctinal until after they sign how can you target them and know this before they sign up?
    Once again their logic doesnt add up, or maybe they are only speaking for themselves because thats the sort of thing they did.

  2. Thank you so much for this post...Just wanted to let you know that I am a new IBC and was lurking Pink Truth...I was slowly starting to believe the things written and was thinking about quitting...But then I realized that MK is what I make it:):) I too wonder where all that hatred comes from...I will continue to read your blog...Thanks again:):)

  3. lol Amanda, and who do they say is brainwashed?

  4. Excuse me, having been through intense counseling personally and knowing many close family members and close friends going through same.....just who ISN't "dysfunctional"? Seriously, less than 5% of folks would meet that description.

  5. Amanda, MK4ME is a fount of business management information. You can learn from her about how to budget, how to determine when and what to order and what to keep in stock, how to handle customer communications, doing open houses to sell products, etc. It's all about learning how to correctly manage all aspects of your business and how to work with customers.


    Here is a really good article from associated content on MK. I must say I like the articles I read on this blog because they are coming from laypeople.

  7. Their are those who claim their mistakes and those who must blame others. It appears that PT has given those who must blame others a soapbox to stand upon.

  8. Just 'N Stitches,

    Well said.

    Hey everyone... love to see the conversation(s) going on over here. Sorry I am still unable to participate often, but I love that my presence is not required in order for it to continue.

    I would really love to see a static site that in a clearly laid out structure introduces and describes "arguments" against what Pink Truth says.

    As well, this static site could describe the things that someone considering Mary Kay should look into before making their decision.

    In other words, currently, the "best" site to prevent women from making reckless decisions about Mary Kay is Pink Truth. That does NOT mean I think it is good... by any means. However, it is a very highly ranked page that talks authoritatively about Mary Kay.

    I would love for the denizens of this site to contribute to a better, more accurate site.

    I have the ability (and could squeeze in the time) to create such a site, but I need content. I need ideas for the structure. What pages, menu items, etc... should this site have. What should those pages say.

    Ideas will be helpful. All thoughts and input are welcome. But what I ultimately need is thoughtfully written, authoritatively constructed content.

    If it can all come together and there is a clear 'picture' presented of what this site should look like, I can get to work on it. If not, we can keep the low key conversational style of this blog going and hope that its popularity will continue to grow.

    Again, thank you all for being a part of this little community and being so open and accepting of each other.


For Further Reading...

This Week On Pink Truth - Click Here
Pros and Cons of Mary Kay - Read or Contribute or Both!
First Post - Why I Started This Blog
The Article I Wrote For (here) (there)
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