Saturday, October 6, 2007

Warm Chatting or Warm Stalking? The Solicitation Conundrum.

So, now you are a Mary Kay Independent Beauty Consultant! Congratulations! Now you have to find people to buy those cosmetics and skin care products that you have signed up to sell. Mary Kay has created a great way to help you solicit customers. While you are out doing the things you do on a daily basis, keep your eyes open for women that you might get along with. Start a conversation with them. Tell them you sell Mary Kay and would love to give them a free demonstration of how great Mary Kay is. If they are interested, get their information and set up a time and place (your place or theirs) to get together. This can be done on the spot or later over the phone or via email depending on their time constraint. Make sure you get their phone number because it is unlikely that they will prioritize this high enough to actually call you. You will have to call them. Mary Kay calls this Warm Chatting.

Pink Truth, the ever constructive, enthusiastic, optimists have relabeled this practice as Warm Stalking. As near as I can tell, this is because when they participated in this practice they resorted to insincere compliments and other unsavory practices in hopes of procuring the leads that they needed to give their new business the kick it needed. It seems that some of them saw success with this while others did not. In either scenario, a painfully obvious resentment to this process developed. They now posit the theory that all Mary Kay IBC’s are as sneaky and deceptive as they tried to be, just better at it.

So Mary Kay inc says that warm chatter is “A” good way to solicit potential customers. Pink Truth says that this is a mortifying example of the “torture” that Mary Kay puts its IBC’s through. Which one is it? Is Mary Kay an evil empire, forcing its minions to do its bidding? Or, has Mary Kay simply provide a convenient, simple way for its independent contractors to succeed in their new business? Let’s explore.


1. This is a really simple and non threatening way for you to introduce yourself to possible customers. If they are not interested you have not lost a thing. If they are interested, you have a new customer and possibly a new recruit. (You never know!)
2. You do this during your NORMAL day-to-day so it is neither an inconvenience or an additional time crunch.
3. If they are not interested, perhaps you have made a new friend or acquaintance.


1. If you are not genuine people see right through this technique.
2. If you are ingenuine, people reject you and you begin to resent yourself and in turn, the process. If you take this rejection personal, you can only handle it for so long.
3. The more you allow this rejection and resentment to build, the more acutely you will feel it. Before long, you will naturally build such an opposition to it that you will create scenarios in your mind where anyone involved with Mary Kay is evil.

Is this approach to approaching customers better labeled “Warm Chatting” or Warm Stalking”?

If you are a new or not-so-new consultant, let me strongly caution you to be genuine and sincere. If you are not, you will most likely burn yourself. And that’s never worth it. If you can’t be yourself and approach women at the same time, you probably should find another career path. If you can do this without compromising who you are you should do great! If you are not already a Mary Kay Girl, click here to see my wife’s site and learn how to get started!

Thanks everyone.

Scroll down for a personal note to Pink Truth-bots :)

If you are one of the bitter ex-MK IBC’s that I have described above, the following is for you…

The mere fact that YOU were insincere when approaching someone demonstrates that you did not understand what it was all about. This is a people business, and if you can’t treat people right, you will not succeed. However, this does not mean that the people succeeding are using your tricks and schemes. In fact, most likely, if they are doing well, it is because they are NOT acting this way. Stop accusing people of doing things that you did. Not everyone is as unscrupulous as you.

It is a long story


  1. Warm chattering is an art that is meant to be practiced in your everyday workings of life. It was not meant to just walk up to someone out of the blue and give phony compliments!!! The company did not set it up to be this way.

  2. Thank you for adding this valuable perspective!

    When my wife first described the concept to me, I was floored by its briliance and simplicity.

    It turns what could be a very daunting part of sales (prospecting) into something anyone can do!

    This is one of the things that Pink Truth "preaches" that really burns me up. First, they take an incredible concept like warm chattering and corrupt it. (giving insincere compliments and stalking what they perceive to be their 'prey') Then they chide Mary Kay (corporate and IBC's alike) as though it is MK's fault that they allowed their values to be twisted.

    Anyway, Thanks for stopping by!

  3. I prefer to call "warm chattering" Networking. It is not exclusive to Mary Kay. I think that is what a lot of people tend to forget. If someone is in real estate, you bet they are going to tell people about it. They may have a pleasant conversation with a perfect stranger and may take the opportunity to add, "by the way, I'm in real estate. If you or anyone you know are looking to buy or sell a home, I'd love you to think of me."
    Anyone who is in business for himself is going to have to get the word out somehow. If they don't, the business is going to tank pretty rapidly. I have a cousin whose husband is a chiropractor. He opened his own practice. Guess what they did? They made up little packets with info and goodies inside to spread the word that they were in business. Sound familiar?

    I'll be the first to admit that networking (warm chattering) is NOT my favorite thing to do. I am not outgoing so I tend to talk to people I work with and, therefore, already know in regard to my business. Once in awhile I may meet a friendly bank teller or store associate and tell them I enjoyed talking to them and then tell them what I do. If they think it sounds fun, they'll take my card. If they're not interested, they'll tell me so.

    Stalking? Hardly.


For Further Reading...

This Week On Pink Truth - Click Here
Pros and Cons of Mary Kay - Read or Contribute or Both!
First Post - Why I Started This Blog
The Article I Wrote For (here) (there)
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